Jesus Christ refused Instagram influencer status after only gaining twelve followers

Jesus Harold Christ has been turned down for Instagram influencer status after he was only able to gain twelve followers.

The son of God was only able to gain a dozen followers on Instagram, nowhere near enough to earn the lucrative ‘influencer’ status on the social media platform.

‘I’ve continually posted images of my many good deeds. I’ve even learned how to hashtag correctly. I just can’t get beyond twelve followers though and I’m starting to suspect one of those is a troll,’ said Jesus.

Christ, 33, is eager to gain influencer status to raise money for his father, who is suffering from a prolonged bout of existential depression.

‘Even he doesn’t believe in himself any more,’ Jesus told us.

Jesus has sought out professional advice on expanding his social media influence, most of which consists of taking more pictures of his butt.