Jacob Rees-Mogg has been sent to bed without any supper after his nanny caught him looking at Victorian erotic lithographs again.
The incident marks the third occasion that nanny has caught Jacob Rees-Mogg looking at erotic drawings from a bygone era.
‘The first two times he claimed it was “research”. This time he was obviously pleasuring himself,’ said the perturbed nanny.
Jacob Rees-Mogg is currently in his bedroom, crying out how unfair the whole situation is and that he should be able to leave his room whenever he wants.
Tomorrow he will be fitted with nocturnal boxing gloves to prevent similar incidents happening in the future.
‘It’s no surprise to me. I’ve always said he looked like a wanker,’ said one man on the street.