Police given £11 million to help Mary and Joseph in search for missing son Jesus

Detectives investigating the disappearance of Jesus Christ have been given a further £11 million in funding to help distraught parents Mary and Joseph find their son who has been missing for almost 2000 years.

Mary and Joseph have never given up hope on finding their son despite all the time that has passed.

‘We know he’s out there somewhere, we can still feel his presence,’ said Mary.

While some claim that Jesus was killed, there have been many sightings of him over the last couple of millennia.

‘It feels like he’s everywhere based on reports. Just last week one woman saw him in her toast. But now we want him back safe at home with us,’ said Joseph.

People around the world are asked to keep a look out for a man with long hair, a scruffy beard and strange markings on his wrists.

‘Your bog standard hipster, basically,’
said one detective.