Raging house parties with hot tubs and drugs ‘Not okay, unless I’m invited,’ says Boris Johnson

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has declared that massive house parties with hot tubs, booze and lewd behaviour are in clear violation of the new COVID guidelines unless he is invited.

In an effort to slow the spread of the coronavirus, Britain has told its people to limit gatherings to six or fewer unless they’re shooting grouse or doing anything posh.

‘Posh people have a natural immunity to the disease,’ said one doctor with a bulging wallet.

However, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has also told people not to report neighbours who are having house parties unless they are ‘Animal House’ style parties with hot tubs, lots of booze and drugs, women in bikinis and lewd behaviour.

‘Don’t report your neighbours to the police just because they have eight people over. While it’s breaking the rules, it’s not worth the time of the police to investigate,’ he began.

‘But if there are hot tubs, women streaking, drugs, debauchery and scandalous behaviour then that’s clearly not okay…unless I’m invited, in which case all bets are off and I was merely testing ability to party down.’