The Earth is on course to warm up so much due to climate change that women will no longer need to sneakily put the heating on.
That is the terrifying assessment of the United Nations.
Despite all the promises and lack of action, the planet will see a significant rise in temperatures across all countries.
The temperature rise means that women might never need to put the heating on, even during the winter months.
The savagely high temperatures make it likely that most men will die from heat exhaustion.
“I see absolutely no drawbacks to any of this,” professional woman Ellie Gordon told us.
However, if men do die out, there could be billions of jars that are left unopened – a tragic waste of pickles and jam.