Hollywood threatens to remaster every movie to include James Corden unless people start going to the cinema again

Hollywood production companies have joined forces to threaten to remaster every single movie so that it includes James Corden unless people start going to the cinema again.

Not only will all the old classics be remastered to include James Corden, but new movies will feature James Corden playing every single role.

“If you think movies are unwatchable dreck now, you haven’t seen the James Corden cut of ‘Gunpowder Milkshake’ where he plays all three female leads,” said one producer.

Fewer people are going to the cinema because of the global pandemic, the high cost of cinema tickets and a perceived dip in movie quality.

However, the threat of James Corden could be enough to see people return to the cinema in droves.

“Hollywood can’t do this to us, can it? Movies are meant to be an escape from the things that make us miserable, they’re not meant to feature them!” complained one movie fan.

Already the threat seems to have worked as several cinemas have reported having lines out of the door.

“Most of them don’t even want to buy a ticket. They’re just giving us money and begging us to not let James Corden ruin anything else,” a cinema worker told us.

Be the first to comment on "Hollywood threatens to remaster every movie to include James Corden unless people start going to the cinema again"

Leave a Reply