GB News loses half its viewers after Andrew Neil misplaces his remote control

GB News has lost half of its viewership after Andrew Neil was unable to find his remote control and tune in, it’s emerged.

The right-wing news channel has struggled to maintain a viewer base due to its shoddy production values, lack of presenting talent and controversial takes.

Chairman Andrew Neil took himself off air so that he could watch GB News and boost viewing figures but the plan was thwarted when he lost his remote control.

“I’ve turned my house upside down and I can’t find the blasted thing anywhere. Without me watching, we’re down to a single viewer and I don’t think that’s going to be enough to sustain the channel,” he said.

It would appear that the stress of GB News’ downturn has affected Andrew Neil greatly. He’s clearly suffering from incredibly high blood pressure, as evidenced by the colour of his face, and he’s also losing his hair.

Although long-time viewers of Andrew Neil assure us that he’s always looked like that.

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