Greece asks EU nations to start anal testing its citizens

Greece has formally asked all of the EU nations to start testing their citizens for COVID anally, it’s emerged.

While the EU is using nasal swabs to test for COVID, Greece says that this is ‘unpleasant’ and can cause ‘great pain’ while anal swabs are much more pleasurable.

‘This entire situation is already bad enough for our citizens living in other countries. They should at least be able to get a little bum fun out of it,’ said Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis.

It’s believed that anal pleasuring originated in Ancient Greece and has become a proud tradition of the Greek people.

‘Having something put in your ass in Greece is like having a cup of tea in England; it’s just a regular part of the day,’ said one cultural expert.

The EU is now considering the request, although it has admitted that it doesn’t want to be left with a mess on its hands.

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