Piers Morgan to perform 100 laps of Donald Trump’s arse to raise awareness of himself

Piers Morgan has pledged to perform 100 laps of President Donald Trump’s arse to raise further awareness of himself.

Morgan says he got the idea after seeing how popular Captain Tom Moore became after raising money for the NHS by completing 100 laps of his garden.

However, the idea of physical exercise is repugnant to Piers Morgan, according to Piers Morgan’s body. Instead, he decided to play to his strengths.

‘I will get down on my knees, ask the President to drop his trousers, and complete 100 laps of his arse. Anything for attention,’ exclaimed Piers.

No-one is in any doubt that Piers will successfully achieve his goal, causing many to claim that 100 laps of Trump’s arse would be nothing more than a warm-up for him.

‘I’ve seen him go to town on Trump’s brown with more vigour on morning TV. 100 laps seem like rookie numbers for Piers. He needs to pump those numbers up if he wants anyone to notice,’ an anonymous co-presenter told us.

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