Scotland is in a jubilant mood after hearing that Storm Eunice has battered Britain, leaving it feeling more Scottish than ever.
Meteorologists have been quick to describe the punishment that Storm Eunice has dished out as a “battering”. The constant use of the term has stirred something deep and primal within all Scottish people.
Millions of Scots are now out on the streets celebrating. They seem to be impervious to Storm Eunice as it doesn’t differ greatly from regular Scottish weather.
“It’s fantastic news that Britain has been battered. It’s what Scotland has been hoping for for a long time. Now we can all join together in one fatty, crispy union.
“All we need now is for Irn Bru to replace the sea and we’ll be set for life,” Hamish McTagget, the most Scottish person we could find, told us.
The rest of Britain has decided to let Scotland have their moment before they find out the truth of the matter.