Sniffing arseholes to be made legal after Dilyn lobbies Boris Johnson

Sniffing arseholes is to be made legal in Britain after Dilyn - the prime minister’s dog - successfully lobbied Boris Johnson for the change.

While there was no previous law against sniffing arseholes, it was considered to be harassment or even sexual assault.

But that will no longer be the case thanks to Dilyn lobbying Boris Johnson to legalise nose-to-arsehole contact.

“He loves arseholes, that’s why he surrounds himself with them all day. I’m surprised it took as long as it did to get this, done to be honest,” Dilyn said of Boris.

“My furry little boy loves sniffing arseholes and I didn’t want him to be considered a deviant,” said Boris, while Dilyn took a long whiff of him.

While sniffing arseholes has now been legalised, people will be allowed to bark and growl at anyone they don’t like trying to smell them.

Dilyn will now try and continue his successful lobbying career by calling for urinating on something to equate to owning it.

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