“Children in Need” smashes fundraising record after offering opportunity to kick James Corden up the arse

“Children in Need” has smashed its previous fundraising record after offering people the opportunity to kick James Corden up the arse in return for a substantial donation.

Hundreds of thousands of people have kicked James Corden up the arse so far and the queue still seems to have no end in sight, some may have even come back for seconds.

“I’m absolutely skint but I couldn’t miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime,” one man in the queue told us, polishing his steel-toe capped boots.

“Children in Need” is an annual event that aims to raise awareness and directly help children in unfortunate circumstances. It’s believed that James Corden agreed to participate to raise awareness of himself.

What began as a light-hearted event quickly turned needfully violent, with people holding James Corden down when he tried to escape.

It’s thought that Corden may need triple-arse transplant surgery after everyone is finished with him.