A teenager who had previously described themselves as a socialist is now an ardent capitalist after dominating a family game of Monopoly over the weekend.
Mark Spencer, 17, has had a change of political tune after crushing the rest of his family in a game of Monopoly in under four hours, making it the shortest game in Monopoly history.
“I see things differently now,” he confirmed. “My old views of fairness were immature and misguided.
“I worked hard to buy the orange set and then the yellow set while everyone else was messing around buying the railroads or not landing on the properties they needed. Why should I be punished for that?
“In a socialist system, I would have had to share my properties with the other players. Forget that. Socialism doesn’t work; never has, never will. It’s capitalism for me from now on.”
Mark Spencer now plans to join the Young Conservatives after his revelation, a move that will double their numbers.