104 BC: God invents the platypus by sticking bits of discarded animals together. It’s considered to be one of the first examples of recycling.

1887 AD: Sherlock Holmes appears in print for the first time in the story “Colder Than a Witch’s Tit”.

1925: The efficacy of politicians is finally proven after Germany, France, Belgium, Britain and Italy sign an agreement to guarantee peace in Europe.

1955: A woman refuses to give up her seat on the bus for a man, making her a hero. Yet when I refuse to give my seat up for a pregnant woman, I’m a villain. No justice.

1999: Mapping of the “Burnley Chromosomes”. The scientific community is stunned after studying the residents of Burnley, a small town in Lancashire. It’s discovered that they all have several extra chromosomes, believed to be a result of inbreeding.

2003: The third and final film in the Lord of the Rings trilogy is released. Those who started watching it at the time are now almost halfway through.

2006: Odds are there was a mass shooting in the United States. Seems like a safe bet.