A local man has told us that he misses the days when he was the one who ruined his family’s Christmas plans rather than the latest strain of Covid-19.
Glenn Clegg has ruined several family Christmas gatherings by getting drunk, belligerent and – on one occasion – overtly sexual.
And now he’s worried that he might never get the chance to ruin another Christmas.
“It’s the end of an era. Last Christmas was ruined by Covid and it looks like the latest variant is going to ruin this one too. I don’t know if or when I’ll get another chance to be the one to blame for wreaking havoc over the seasonal period.
“I guess I’ll just spend this Christmas alone and try to ruin it for myself. They’ll probably be a ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ Christmas special or something that should do the trick.
“Either that or I’ll have sprout soup, followed by a big plate of sprouts and then sprout trifle for dessert. I’ll be glad of the face mask at that point,” he told us.
Experts suggest that Glenn could get his next chance to ruin a family Christmas in 2028 as long as the planet has survived the predicted climate catastrophe barrage of 2027.