1098 BC: Invention of the “Egyptian Pose” that is often seen in the artwork of Ancient Egypt. It is very much the “dabbing” of its day.
1812 AD: The death of Harold the Bastard. Harold dedicated his life to bastardry and is one of the most influential figures to the Conservative Party in the UK.
1943: Adolf Hitler is informed that Italy is negotiating terms of surrender after they discovered that Germany enjoys pineapple on pizza.
1947: Austria produces the first semi-realistic robot. The robot goes on to have a successful career in bodybuilding, acting and politics.
1948: Professional wrestling premiers on prime-time network TV for the first time. It quickly becomes the most real thing on television.
1950: Hollywood imposes strict “No Over 30s” rule on women.
1956: The phrase “Let’s Bomb the Fuckers” legally becomes the national motto of the United States.
1966: England wins the World Cup 4-2 against Germany thanks to a stunning hat-trick from Alan Shearer. This goes on to become the last ever time England win anything.
1999: “The Blair Witch Project” is released and becomes the definitive documentary on snot.