Local man treating non-habit forming drug as a challenge

A local man is doing everything in his power to treat a drug that claims to be “non-habit forming” as a challenge.

Kieran Eyepatch, 34, has begun taking an over-the-counter medicine to help him sleep at night. While the medicine claims to be “non-habit forming”, Kieran is doing everything he can to put that to the test.

“I started by taking the recommended amount and it knocked me on my arse the first few nights. It was fantastic. Then I started getting used to it and realised that if I fought the drowsiness, it provides a kind of high.

“So now I take it just for the high, and if I actually want to go to sleep then I take double the amount. They said it’s not habit forming but I’m taking it every night and swinging between having a fantastic night’s sleep and being smacked out of my tits,” Kieran told us.

The makers of the drug have denounced the way that Kieran has used their sleeping tablets.

“They’re only supposed to be used occasionally. We used specially selected ingredients to make sure the tablets are in no way addictive,” they claimed.

“I’ll drink to that,”
Kieran responded, downing a mouthful of beer and popping four sleeping tablets.

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