Man goes medium and has one more pint before heading home

A man has elected to neither go big nor go home, he will instead go medium and stay out for just one more pint.

Duncan Balls, 36, has found a third option to the “go big or go home” ethos in what could be a revolutionary act.

“I’m going medium,” he told us. “I don’t want to go home yet but I’m too tired for a massive session. I’ll have one more pint and then head back. It’s the smart option. I can’t believe that I’m the first person to come up with it.”

While some have praised Duncan’s ingenuity, others have called it a dangerous new ideology that could lead to the fall of the West.

“This is just like Bill Clinton’s “Third Way” neoliberal politics. It might seem like a good idea but it leads to Tony Blair and the eventual boom of right-wing fascism. Is that what Duncan wants? Is it?” asked Richard Cox, a cobbler from Essex.

It’s most likely that Duncan just wants to get a bit of a buzz without getting absolutely sloshed. We’ll be sure to follow him just to make sure though.

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