Mayo Clinic to rebrand as the Light Mayo Clinic to appear healthier

The Mayo Clinic is set to rebrand as the Light Mayo Clinic in order to appear healthier to potential patients across the United States.

The Mayo Clinic is a non-profit medical centre, with sites in Arizona, Minnesota and Florida. It was originally named after its prodigious use of mayonnaise as a medical cure-all, something that can still be seen in American cuisine to this day.

“Time has changed though,” said a spokesperson for the Mayo Clinic. “Medical science has moved on from slapping mayonnaise on a wound and calling it a day.

“Mayonnaise has a very high-fat content, so we tend to use light mayo more than regular mayo now unless the patient is underweight.

“We hope that the rebranding reflects our new attitude to healthcare and that people continue to trust our practices.”

The Mustard Infirmary, the Mayo Clinic’s biggest rivals, has no intentions to rebrand at this time.

“If you can’t handle being fed spoon after spoon of mustard, you’re not a real American,” said a spokesperson for the Mustard Infirmary.

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