Sources have confirmed to us that there has been at least one illegal party in 10 Downing Street during Covid lockdown.
The illegal party is said to have been full of debauchery, depravity and sleaze.
“I saw people there who were known for lying, corruption, profligacy, lechery, intemperance and criminality – and that was just the prime minister,” said one source who clearly knew his way around a thesaurus.
The party in question is believed to have broken several laws but close ties to the police have kept them safe from being prosecuted.
One member of the party has threatened any snitches with the prospect of being deported, even if they were born and bred in England while another member threatened to snog any tattletales.
“I’m pretty sure I know who that first one is, but the second one could have been any of them,” said a man on the street.