Sources within Boris Johnson’s inner circle have revealed that he plans to answer all future PMQs with “I know you are, but what am I?”
Prime Minister’s Questions have proved increasingly tricky for Johnson as his premiership lurches from one scandal to another, which is why he plans a change of tact.
“He’s just going to answer every question with ‘I know you are, but what am I?’ It might sound childish but it’s really no more immature than the constant waffle and posh cheering that you usually hear in the House of Commons,” one of his aides told us.
Johnson’s new approach has several benefits: he will no longer have to pretend to do any research; the length of PMQs will shorten dramatically; and PMQs will remain as important and effective as they have ever been.
However, the ever forensic Sir Keir Starmer is already plotting how best to counter Johnson’s latest measures.
“I didn’t study law for three years without learning ‘I am rubber, you are glue,’” said Starmer.