The Conservative Party has debuted a new slogan which they hope will help to boost flagging membership numbers.
With membership and polling numbers dwindling, the Tory leadership has acted quickly to try and plug the leak with a new slogan.
The Conservative Party plans to bombard the internet with images of Prime Minister Boris Johnson and the slogan “We have the CNT, all we need is U”.
The CNT refers, of course, to letters that are already found within the word “Conservative”.
Conservative Party membership costs just £25-a-year and allows members to play an active role in the party by spitting on the homeless, assaulting immigrants and making racist tweets without the risk of being held accountable in any way.
Lucky members will also be awarded fat government contracts for doing next to nothing.
“I mean, we were paid £500,000 to come up with this slogan,” said Davey David-Davidson, a member of the Conservative Party and PR team.