Doctors recommend EIGHT glasses of alcohol a day to help stave off reality

Doctors are recommending that people drink EIGHT glasses of alcohol every day to help stave off the horror that is reality.

A new study found that 100% of people who drank eight glasses of alcohol every day were significantly happier than those who didn’t.

‘The results were incredible. The sober control group were absolutely miserable while those who drank a large quantity of alcohol were in a great mood, albeit with some bouts of violence,’ Dr Drinkwater told us.

With reality becoming increasingly difficult to face, doctors now believe that everyone should up their alcohol intake so we can all ride it out together.

‘It’s easy to do. Just put a shot of vodka in every coffee. Or, better yet, replace water with vodka altogether,’ said another doctor.

However, people are being told that regular consumption of high quantities of alcohol could lead to an early death.

Whether that’s a promise or a warning isn’t yet known.