A local man has revealed that he is deeply concerned that it’ll be his turn to be UKIP leader once the current leader steps down.
Shortly after UKIP announced their latest leader, the local man came to a stunning realisation.
“They’ve been through so many leaders since Nigel Farage that it’s got to be my turn soon. I don’t know if UKIP picks their leaders randomly, or if there’s some other process, but there aren’t many people left that haven’t had their turn yet.
“I hate wearing a suit though and I’m shit at public speaking so maybe I’ll be at the bottom of the list,” the local man told us.
UKIP has steadfastly refused to disclose how their leadership selection works, although many within political circles believe it’s based on how much spite and hatred the individual holds with themself.
In related news, Piers Morgan is the bookmakers’ favourite to be the next leader of UKIP; a relief to at least one person.