The “Christmas spirit” is booze

People should be drinking as many as eight glasses of booze a day, according to experts in the field of Christmas.

Eight daily glasses of booze help to keep you hydrated through the Christmas period and drunk enough to survive the mental onslaught.

“Our research has concluded that eight glasses of booze a day is the perfect amount to get you through Christmas.

“If you pace yourself properly, you can start in the morning and keep yourself topped up throughout the day.

“The alcohol will give you the ability to enjoy yourself while surviving the mental onslaught of dealing with a lot of people and various forms of bullshit,” one Christmas expert told us.

While this much alcohol would traditionally be a sign of alcoholism, all bets are off at Christmas.

“Alcoholism is socially acceptable at this time of year, so you might as well make the most of it,” said our unnamed expert.

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