BREAKING: Boris Johnson’s resigned

Boris Johnson has stated that he is resigned to fulfilling the will of the people (the people stood behind and beside him, that is) by delivering Brexit.

He then muttered some twaddle in Latin or possibly Etonian.

Unfortunately, he remains the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. For the moment.

However, there are rumblings that Boris Johnson could retire tomorrow.

‘The wheels on my bike are absolutely shot. They definitely need retiring soon,’ he told us.