Dalai Lama resigns after discovery of sexist comments made in a past life

The Dalai Lama has been forced to stand down from his position as the spiritual leader of Tibet after the discovery of sexist comments he made in a past life.

The Buddhist monk is thought to have made several problematic comments in his last life and there is a concern that digging further back into other past lives could unearth yet more misbehaviour.

It is for that reason that the Dalai Lama has stood down, effective immediately.

‘I honestly don’t remember making these comments but the victims must be heard and I issue a full and frank apology to anyone I have offended,’ he said in a press release.

The Dalai Lama will now go by his real name of Tenzin Gyatso and will seek employment as a supermarket greeter.

Meanwhile, the Buddhist Temple of Tibet is scrambling to find a replacement, with Sam Allardyce the odds-on favourite to takeover the role in a caretaker position.