‘I’ll suspend you from a long bloody rope,’ Queen tells Johnson

Queen Elizabeth II has responded to Boris Johnson’s request to suspend parliament by telling him she’ll suspend him from a long rope if he continues to be such a prick.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s plans to send Britain crashing out of the EU without a deal were hit by a snag after Queen Elizabeth refused to suspend parliament.

‘Suspend parliament!?’ the Queen roared. ‘I’ll suspend you from a long blood rope if you keep on being such a contemptible prick.’

After the meeting, Boris Johnson (surprisingly) wisely elected not to use his car and instead walked back to 10 Downing Street.

‘She’s not getting ME like that,’ he told aides.