Man incapable of sweating still fully capable of shitting himself

A man who is incapable of sweating has discovered that he is still fully capable of shitting himself, according to reports.

The man, who wishes to remain unnamed but is called Prince Andrew, has previously claimed that he is unable to sweat.

Whether this is true or not (it isn’t), it would seem that he is still more than capable of absolutely shitting himself at the prospect of being held accountable for his actions.

“I’m not guilty,”
he began. “But it’s very unfair that all the evidence against me might be brought up in a court of law. All of the agreements and dealings my friends and I have made over the years should preclude me from any sort of punishment.”

Prince Andrew has begun shitting himself on a daily basis, an act which is often preceded by calling for his mummy.

Prince Andrew’s lawyers are now considering using his latest medical affliction to claim that he wouldn’t survive in jail.

“He needs a nanny to change his nappy every four hours and even the cushiest of prisons doesn’t offer that service,” one of the lawyers told us.

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