Mariah Carey is reportedly furious at her latest beau, Bryan Tanaka, after he gave her a large car park this Christmas.
“I simply can’t understand it. I’ve quite specifically stated, in no uncertain terms, that I did not want a lot for Christmas!” the diva exclaimed. “I’ve said it every year. In fact, I wrote a song about it – you might have heard it.”
“Yes, we’ve heard it alright,” opined one Boxing Day sales shopper who we spoke to.
A passionate environmentalist and climate activist, Mariah has regularly spoken out about reducing car use and feels that the abundance of parking lots in the USA does nothing but contribute to global warming.
“So does my bubbling rage every time I hear that bloody song,” added our shopper, struggling with a mass of bags stuffed with discount tat. “Christmas is actually my favourite day of the year simply because it means that I won’t have to hear that song again for the best part of the next twelve months.”
So incensed was Ms Carey that she immediately ordered contractors in to rip up the parking lot and re-wild the area into a local urban paradise, much to the consternation of Joni Mitchell, who as we go to press is still stuck in a big yellow taxi idling at the kerbside, looking for somewhere to pull over.