There is panic in the White House today after government officials revealed that they’re uncertain if President Biden is napping at his desk or actually dead.
President Biden is slumped over his desk with his eyes closed but no one can be certain if he’s dead or napping at this time.
“It gave me one hell of a fright walking in on the president like that,” one intern told us. “There he was, head on his desk with his eyes closed and a foul smell lingering throughout the room.”
While those symptoms would often indicate death, other officials have said that it’s not an unusual sight, or smell, around President Biden.
“You can never be 100% sure until he opens his eyes and cries ‘Malarky!’. His pulse is so slow that it doesn’t really register anymore. He’s probably just napping but we’ll let you know if not,” said the official.
The death would come as a significant blow to the Democratic Party who would have to look for someone else as committed to achieving next to nothing.