Report: No one has a clue what day it is

Absolutely no one has a fucking clue what day it is after the Christmas/New Year period has once again successfully clouded the minds of everyone.

Even the very smartest of people don’t know what day it is right now. And, whatever day it is, it certainly doesn’t feel like that day normally would.

“We’re in the festive window where days have lost all meaning. It could be a Sunday, it could be a Wednesday. It doesn’t feel like any of them though. They’re all just days without names at this point,” said one human-shaped being.

People are being urged not to overreact though as this strange phenomenon happens at the end of every year and it typically starts to make sense again in January.

“We turn time off and on again on January 1st and that usually does the trick,” one Time Lord told us.

If the turning time off and on doesn’t work, it’s likely to lead to widespread panic, anarchy and the literal end of days.

“Great, another thing to worry about,” said a millennial.

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