A scientist has built a bullshit detector that is so hardy that it can withstand listening to Boris Johnson without instantly exploding.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has long been the bane of bullshit detectors because he produces so much BS that even the best detectors can’t cope with it.
For the last ten years, levels of bullshit have been graded on something called “The Johnson Scale” that ranges from “de Pfeffel Waffle” to “Full-on Boris”.
But no bullshit detector has ever been able to cope with a reading of “Full-on Boris” without exploding – until now.
Dr Lucien Montgomery is the scientist behind the amazing invention and will go down as the first in history to break through the “Boris Bullshit Barricade”.
“It’s something that a lot of us in the community have been working on. I’ve been fortunate enough to work and learn alongside some really fantastic minds, some of which have been almost as fantastic as my own,” said Dr Montgomery.
We asked Boris Johnson if he’d like to comment on the invention but he told us he was too busy working hard on ways to improve Britain. The machine donated to us from Dr Montgomery hit the “Full-on Boris” reading but didn’t blow up.
Another win for science.