Scientists discover link between eating McDonald’s and hating yourself

Scientists have discovered a link between eating any food from McDonald’s and hating yourself, it’s emerged.

A study has found that 100% of people who go to McDonald’s have a deep-seated hatred of themselves.

‘Oh, I’m such a piece of shit. Look at me, I’m poisoning my body AND killing the planet all in one fell swoop,’ one McDonald’s customer groaned to themselves after polishing off a Big Mac Meal.

While McDonald’s fully accept the link, they do question whether the self-hatred is caused by their food.

‘We’re certain that everyone who sets foot through our doors already hates themselves before they try our food. It’s a correlation and not a cause, in this case,’ said boss R. McDonald.

McDonald’s are now considering hiring additional staff to console customers whenever possible.

They will be paid minimum wage or less and hate themselves even more than the customers.